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A Whale of a Tale
2k5 - Saturday, February 17, 2007, 7:58 PM ------------------------------------------ Entrance to Autobot City The massive structure of Metroplex looms in front of you, a gigantic battlefortress and Earth headquarters of the Autobots. Large towers relay information from around the world and the large communications tower in the center keeps Metroplex in contact with the rest of the known universe. Security cameras and gun emplacements surrounding the entrance make sure that only those who are welcome enter. Scorch marks and small holes in the wall are reminders of the last battle here at Autobot City. To the north is the landing pad for flights to and from Earth. Room Contents: Main Spacebridge Terminus Autobot Standard Troops #1933 PlayCo Toys Automatic Base Defenses Obvious exits: North leads to Landing Pad . Main Entrance leads to Main Lobby - First Floor. West leads to Outskirts of San Francisco, California. Sideswipe is strolling.. no no.. sauntering down the hallway leading towards the great outdoors, a merry grin on his face and a small ticket or something in hand. Mirage is just out for a stroll. The events on the derelict had him rattled, but he has long since recovered his glacial cool. Still, he was almost happy to see Earth. So boring. So mundane. So not screwing with his head. It's like an injection of fresh coolant. Spying Sideswipe, Mirage sidles over to the Lamborghini and greets, "Why, hello there." You'd almost think he had an ulterior motive. Sideswipe gives the thing(ticket shaped) in his hand a gleeful look, optics as bright as a fresh summer's sky at noon. Head tips up, optics narrow before he slows his stride, giving Mirage a patented goofy grin, "S'up, Mirage?" Mirage does, of course, consider the ticket-shaped thing. Gambling wouldn't be out of character for Sideswipe, but he squints, trying to determine if it is actually that. Then, Mirage glances back, and with an entirely straight face, asks, "Have you heard if Sunstreaker acquired those fake trees yet?" Sideswipe wraps his fingers around the ticket-thing, absently so so thusly obscuring the text from view. One optic widens, akin to a brow lifting, "Guh? What the.. eh.. What would ol' Sunshine be doing with trees of any kind, 'Raj?" Mirage internally darns as the ticket-thing's text is obscured from view. They're both Autobots here. Mirage could just ask what the ticket-thing is, but old habits die hard. He answers, still deadpan, "Sunstreaker opined that the medical bay in Iahex is too dreary and thought some plastic trees would cheer it up a bit. I am simply curious to see if he's made any progress." Sideswipe huhs.. and gets a wry smirk, "Silly, Sunstreaker, trees won't brighten that place up. What it needs is something with more pizazz." One could almost swear there was a hamster wheel going into overclock somewhere. Mirage smirks ever so slightly. He has a running bet with himself about whether or not Sunstreaker's actually going to put fake trees in the medical ward. So now there's a new variable. Mirage rubs his chin and inquires, "So, is interior decorating a Lamborghini thing, or...?" Sideswipe tilts his head slightly, "It's just a thing. If you're gonna spend a lot of time in one place, might as well make it decent to look at." Looking over at Mirage again, optics bright, "Cause if anyone with sense looked at our quarters.. I mean, Jazz makes fun of them, they can't be all that an a bag of chips." Smirk. Mirage's smirk get just a little wider. He didn't say Lamborghinis are good at interior decorating, did he? However, the spy finally caves on another fronts and just asks, "So what's that, ah, ticket you're holding there?" It feels so wrong. He should have to sneak past at least a pair of guards or something. Sideswipe looks at his hand, looks at Mirage, looks back at his hand. "Nothin'." Clamming up like a shut door. "Just.. nothin' really." Mirage would have let the matter drop if Sideswipe had just said, 'It's a Powerball ticket. Gonna spend the winnings on a lifetime supply of waxings.' However, the espionage agent cannot let a mystery drop, now that his interest is piqued. "Seems an awful lot like something for nothing, hmm?" Sideswipe errs and scuffs a foot on the floor before he shrugs, "Just a note for the local copstoshowthatmyparkingticketsareallpaidnand I " pause to slow down the babble, "am free to go drivin' again." Mirage politely refrains from laughing. He himself isn't, err, even street legal, for all that he's got a license to kill. Then again, since the cops never see him, it's all good. Instead Mirage says softly, "Ah. That why I didn't see you around much, then?" Sideswipe hehs, putting the ticket thing away in a side compartment, giving Mirage a goofy grin. "Civic duty and all that. Had to do community service." He shrugs, "Just got all the bugs off too." Mirage winces. Getting one's hands dirty in the name of the good old fight is one thing, but 'bugs' sound so terribly uncouth. Still, it's like a train wreck, and he has to ask, "Do I want to know?" Yeah, like a train wreck, Sideswipe feels obligated to go into detail, "Maybe. Had to do some trudgin' about on the beach and.. well, large dead things make for lots of small bugs that get into everythin'. Grills, bumberguards, all over. I mean, if they had miniwipers for my optics, I woulda been happier." Mirage's optic widen, and suddenly he looks almost... guilty. But why? Fuel pump sinking, he asks, "It... wasn't a dead whale, was it?" Sideswipe nods, "Yeah, big one too. They usually use a crane or cut it up but this week they had me.." He narrows his optics, "Do you know how long it takes to get that sortof.. gick off of chrome? It was.. *everywhere*," Mirage covers his mouth with a hand. Primus, it probably wasn't even the same whale. He's a hunter! Animals are for shooting and stuffing! But Sideswipe's description is so unpleasantly visceral. He rubs the back of his helmet with his hand and asks desperately, "Sideswipe, have you told your brother about this?" Sideswipe's optics widen, "What? And listen to the gilded daisy prattle along about how he'd never get his pretty hands dirty? Shyeah, like I want that sort of slag bein' used as ammo for him with one of his moods." A slight pause before he turns, giving Mirage an odd look, "Why would you care if I did?" Optics thinning. Mirage tries to act like he really just has Sunstreaker's best interest at core and insists, "Well, you're right. Sunstreaker has a very delicate constitution, and I am worried that so lurid a tale could upset him." It's not that Mirage doesn't want Sunstreaker spilling the beans about that whale and the dolphin to his brother. Sideswipe blinks once, then gain before giving Mirage an odd look, "Eh, ye-eaaaah.. I don't think we're talkin' about the same Sunny here. Mine'll as soon rip someone a new one for lookin' at him weird. Your's seems to be pansy extraordinaire." He shakes his head, "Delicate constitution my rear manifold.." Snort. Mirage curses silently. He could have sworn he was better at fibbing than this, honestly! Mirage digs the pit a bit deeper and says, "Well, it's just that, you know... whales. They were... on Star Trek!" Bless the humans for providing him with totally non sequitur rationales. "I think Sunstreaker would feel really bad for the whale. They were good enough to get on Star Trek, after all." Yeah, that's it. Sideswipe uhs and steps back, "Mirage? You alright? Cause.. Seriously, man, Sunstreaker doesn't feel bad about much of anything. And he isn't a trekkie.. Unless he's a secret Nimoy fetisher. And I'd know, he's my twin." Resting a hand on a hip, "What bugs up your exhaust about this whale?" Mirage squeaks, "No bugs!" Then, struggling to regain his composure, he assures, "I'm sire, Sideswipe. Really." He smiles weakly. "How about we hit a bar?" Because Sideswipe needs drunk driving added to his list of offenses, of course! And maybe Mirage can get Sideswipe trashed enough to forget about all this. Sideswipe's optics narrow. Now, he didn't just fall off of the proverbial turnip truck. "I'll just ask Sunny about it then. I mean, if he's gone all soft on me over whales, why, this is new fodder for the prank war." Gleeful, devilish grin full of the promise of the sort of mischief that'd make a lesser mech drop his oil pan. Mirage grrs softly and makes a note to get Sunstreaker over-charged enough that he forgets the entire past year. It is clearly the only solution, since he can't shoot him. That would be murder, and that's bad, Mirage. Trying a distraction, he suggests, "And the fake trees. Be sure to ask him about the fake trees." Maybe they'll get side-tracked. Sideswipe brightens his optics, "I just bet he'd love some of those 'Save the whales' bumper stickers that Hound has." Real merry smirk, "Bet I can slap a few of those on and he won't notice till he goes in for a checkup." Oh yeah, one can smell the trouble brewing. "Pah, fake trees. I'll ask'em about that.. Distraction is the key element in games such as the ones we play." Sideswipe thumbs up, "Thanks for the real great idea, Mirage. I'd have never known he'd gone all luvy about cetaceans." Mirage resists the strong urge to facepalm. Instead, he tries to draw himself up with some dignity and notes, "In the business, we never give away our sources." Mirage leans in a bit, hoping that Sideswipe will confirm something similar. Sideswipe's not going to get the reaction he'll want, but it'll be a reaction, all right. Sideswipe smirks widely, optics glittering with mirth, "Yeah, and in th' business, we never admit t' *anything*." Mirage hasn't admitted anything yet, has he? No, he's just been concerned for Sunstreaker's poor, fragile soul. He smiles, a little relieved, and says, "Ah, very good. We're on the same page, then. Happy pranking." Sideswipe shrugs, "I dunno, your page have cartoons?" As deadpan as he can get. Mirage narrows his optics, fingers twitching, and says, just a hair from calling this all hopeless, "I call them diagrams." Sideswipe ooohs, "Diagrams. We're using the big words." Crooked smirk, just that side of merry. "Come on, they're cartoons by another name." Mirage protests, with all the imagined dignity of a high school goth, "Graphic novels." Sideswipe snorts, "Co-mics." dragging the word out. "Funny paaaa-pers." Mirage is going to need to go back to his quarters and apologize to his League of Extraordinary Gentlemen extra-large trades and assure them that he'll never let heathens like Sideswipe touch them. Instead, he insists, "I fail to see what's funny about a detailed, diagrammed plan for insertion." Sideswipe shrugs, "Best plans never last past the initial encounter anyways, 'Raj." He looks up at the ceiling, "An' speakin' of plans, I'd better go get a good recharge before my next duty shift comes 'round." Merry smirk, "Been nice talkin with you. I'll forward you any pics of the sunster and his soon to be new bumper tats." A wink and a wave. Mirage waves to Sideswipe and mutters, "You are entirely too kind." Then he too stalks off to his quarters. Oh, if only the Invisible Man was not such a skidplate!